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  • Post published:07/05/2021
  • Post last modified:07/05/2021

I went for a hike in the rainforest yesterday. It was a rare, rain-free morning, the sun shining on the shimmering jewels of palm leaves and red ginger flowers. I had been stressed over a hard decision I needed to make. I asked my heart for honesty and it had spoken; I knew what I had to do. Yet that clarity argued with mental objections so strongly rooted in past conditioning that I couldn’t decisively move forward without first unraveling what was keeping me standing still.

The rainforest offered its green sanctuary, wrapping itself around me like a beautiful blanket of light. I felt protected, free from pressure, distractions, and connected all things. I could hear my mind saying,

If you break a commitment, people will think you don’t care, maybe you’ll die. Your mother broke so many commitments, and that threatened your survival as a child.

If you say No, someone will get angry or stressed then you’ll have to feel their energies.

You are supposed to be flexible, to find a compromise, negotiate.

With each step I climbed higher, my heart pounding not just from the hike but the survival energies being activated, till I reached the summit: an awe-inspiring view of sunny, sparkling Honolulu and the ocean beyond. I sat down on a bench, 360 degrees of lush green holding me, when the voice of wisdom spoke, “The only commitment you ever need to make is to staying in alignment with you. You know how to do this. After all, your commitment to your own alignment, led you here, to Hawaii.”

It was true. My refusal to stay in an environment that felt wrong for me was a decision I had to make in the solitude of my soul, knowing that I’d meet objections from loved ones at every turn. Even though it caused temporary stress and discomfort, it certainly led to long-term happiness and peace. Empowered by this reminder about what I’d already done, and all the good it created, I could move forward.

As I walked down the path, the survival energies dissipated. The scales began to tip toward my truth, not social correctness, or childhood survival strategies, but what felt entirely right and true for me. Even though I didn’t like feeling them, I decided I could stand feeling others’ short-term anger or disappointment in exchange for my long term peace. I could let go of the way I held onto commitments as though holding onto the wheel of a car going over the edge of a cliff. It was all old training.

My journey reminded me of Scorpio’s transformation, that uncomfortable process of letting go of what is no longer good for us – because we’ve changed, matured, and are ready to live more true to our essence.  What old skin are you shedding at this Full Moon? Where are you releasing old patterns rooted in conditioning, perhaps wounded responses? With Mars still hovering near Pluto, in the sign of Capricorn, your personal space, boundaries need honoring. Capricorn is the sign of commitments, vows. How many of us have been socialized to stay in a relationship or situation that feels bad out of guilt, obligation? Truly, the only commitment we ever need to make is to staying in alignment with who we are.

As I kept addressing each objection I was feeling with a deeper truth, something inside me shifted, an ancient boulder, an old foundational identity structure, rolled out of my path. The old patterns of over-accommodation… to abandon myself… The shift felt so, well, BIG. Then I experienced that eerily peaceful and cool sensation you sometimes get after doing powerful inner work, the sensation of “thy will is done”, and that the only thing left to do is breathe and blink.

Breathe and blink. I imagined myself as a chartreuse gecko lizard, which Hawaii has in abundance. In harmony with her nature, the world doesn’t ask her to accommodate it. Ask the lizard to be a dog, chicken or do cat tricks, and it will sit there and blink, “Hmmm. That’s interesting. But I’m a lizard.”

Humans try to override their instinct, but not animals. Taurus energies ask us to remember that we each have our own creature nature, with instincts and preferences unique to us. We could take a cue. The more honest and even stubborn we can be about what our creature self needs, the better we fare.

So…No more cat tricks for this lizard! May you experience your own empowered full moon awakening.

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