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  • Post published:19/07/2021
  • Post last modified:19/07/2021

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For the ways I haven’t showed up for me

For the times I’ve overlooked and ignored the nagging feeling, the nausea, the disappointment

For all of the times that I didn’t make the time to feel – to process, to become more aware of, to honor my feelings

For all of the times I misinterpreted what I was really feeling

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For all of the stories I’ve ever told myself, wholly believed, and then suffered

For jumping to conclusions, not slowing down to question my perceptions

For overlaying my mind’s story of the moment onto the energy of the moment

For the thought: there is no other way than this… then slowly walking toward misery

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For the limits I’ve placed on my possibilities (because I once thought I had so few)

For the belief: I must be doing something wrong (otherwise, I wouldn’t feel this badly), and the energy that belief set into motion

For creating an identity out of pain, turning it into “MY suffering”

For all of the times I made myself sit through discomfort, stay, instead of just. standing. up; instead of walking away

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

For being so hard on myself, so exacting, self-critical

For having high and unreasonable expectations, along with the accompanying certainty I would fail

For the relentless, miserable, insecurity; so much self-questioning, so much self-doubt

For this is what I learned from the energies I was exposed to, ancestral energy I was born into

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself

Let myself off the hook, to not be perfect

When I feel intense discomfort from making a choice that is not quite right for me

When I am dismissive of the still small voice of wisdom, and do the other thing anyway

When I misinterpret what I feel, and run with a false perception of reality

I am no longer harsh, or unkind

I feel the consequences of my misstep, but I no longer suffer from it

…No longer believing in mistakes, in right or wrong, spiritual lessons, karma, or comeuppance of any form…

I can find light within the shadows

I can find the dance within the sad song

I can bring myself back home, back to Truth

 

I’ve learned to forgive myself –quickly

Then, do it again

To patiently take a few moments to feel what is real for me right now

To say, “I’m sorry. I understand. You are learning, living, in a world of constant change and distraction. You have a good heart.”

Or whatever I need to hear

This makes all the difference – and the quicker, the better

Gone are the hours, days, weeks of prolonged agony; I no longer suffer myself

This is how I now move through the world unencumbered

Free

– words inspired by the Self Forgiveness card in the Intuitive Energy Divination Deck. (click here to pre-order).

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